Biden Announces January 31st is National Thank a Chinese Person Day

President Joe Biden announced earlier today that January 31st will now be "Thank a Han Chinese Person for making all of our stuff Day" which is to be a federally recognized holiday. The Biden administration felt there was a need for another bank holiday, because those bankers work too hard printing money, practicing predatory lending, and needed to evict millions of people thanks to the booming economy. He also wanted to remind Americans that nothing is manufactured in the US anymore and that is why we need to thank Chinese people for making everything. Fortunately, instead of having to listen to Biden stumble through reading a teleprompter, the White House sent the Bugle a transcript of what was supposed to have been said.

The summary of the speech essentially is:

1. The US should be grateful to China for all they do for us
2. Taiwan isn't that important and defending it would be suicide as we don't actually make anything. Biden and Xi agreed to retaliatory sanctions behind closed doors in San Francisco to prevent WW3
3. When thanking Chinese people, make sure to only thank Han Chinese. Generally the ones making the stuff we use aren't Han, but the ones using the ethnic minority groups as slave labor typically are Han and so therefore are responsible for actually making the stuff we use.
4. All Bitcoin miners are made by Chinese CCP controlled companies, meaning we wouldn't mine Bitcoin without China.

Surprisingly, in reading the speech transcript, it appeared that the White House speech writers have been intentionally injecting obstacles for Biden to stumble over, suggesting that it might not be that he's entirely senile, but just struggling reading random gibberish off the teleprompter. There have been complaints that the quality of speech writers have significantly dropped over the past few years due to strict DEI requirements.

Many individuals have reacted to what they deem as Biden being insensitive and racist. Others approve of him thanking the Chinese, considering his points valid. The line of offended people versus non offended people seems to entirely be determined by which news networks they watch. The CCP has yet to respond, but will likely appreciate Biden's attempts to placate the communist party, as well as back off from defending Taiwan.