Coinbase Hires Dylan Mulvaney As Brand Spokesperson

Coinbase Hires Dylan Mulvaney As Brand Spokesperson

Coinbase has officially hired trans Tik Tok star Dylan Mulvaney as their newest brand spokesperson. Mulvaney, best known for her recent deal with Bud Light as well as for meeting with President Joe Biden to discuss trans rights.

Many in the cryptocurrency industry are scratching their heads at this decision. Mulvaney has no experience in finance or technology, and is at the center of a lot of controversy.

According to a statement from Coinbase's CEO Brian Armstrong, "We believe that Dylan's unique perspective and charisma will help us reach a wider audience and bring more people into the world of cryptocurrency as well as protect us from regulatory scrutiny. We are at our whits ends with attacks from the SEC and now we have a reason to call Gary Gensler transphobic."

Many Coinbase users expressed frustration on Twitter. One user said, "I want Coinbase customer support to unfreeze my funds. I don't care about their spokesperson. Take care of your customers."

Despite the skepticism, Mulvaney is already hard at work promoting Coinbase. In her first public appearance as spokesperson, she gave a bizarre interview in which she rambled about the benefits of using cryptocurrency to buy candy bars and Doge to the Moon.

"I used to love candy bars when I was a kid," Mulvaney said, grinning. "But I always had to ask my mom for money to buy them. With cryptocurrency, you don't need to ask anyone for permission. You can just buy as many candy bars as you want!"

Mulvaney's enthusiasm for candy bars may not be enough to convince skeptics that she's the right choice for Coinbase's brand ambassador. For now, she seems to be relishing his return to the spotlight.

"I always knew I was destined for greatness," Mulvaney said. "And now I'm finally getting the recognition I deserve. Who needs an Emmy when you have Chainlink?"

Only time will tell if Mulvaney's stint as spokesperson will pay off for Coinbase. In the meantime, the rest of the cryptocurrency industry will be watching with amusement and bewilderment as Mulvaney continues to promote casino cambling and candy bars with equal fervor.

Tip Dick 

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