Samson Mow Competes With Dennis Porter To See Who Can Take Selfies With The Most Politicians

Politicians around the world have been complaining that they are being ambushed by both Dennis Porter and Samson Mow, who appear to be in a serious competition to see who can get the most selfies with politicians. Porter has taken the approach of targeting local politicians, as he hardly has the budget that Mow does. Mow on the other hand is living life in luxury, traveling from one tiny island nation to the next in order to get the most selfies as possible. Mow has been banned from traveling to at least 3 island nations as a result of politicians voting to ban him for fear of a selfie ambush.

"Mow waited for me outside of the bathroom stall when I was taking a shit, just to take a selfie with me. Then he cut out the background to make it look like we weren't in the bathroom. He's just terrible," Said Jose Vancarez who is a government representative of St. Kitts in the Caribbean. The politicians negative sentiment for Mow seems to be shared by American politicians for Dennis Porter, who also has been known to ambush politicians in the bathroom for selfie pictures. He was rumored to have followed Cynthia Lummis into the bathroom for a selfie at one point, but those rumors have not been confirmed by either Porter or Lummis' team. One positive side to the ravenous selfie takers is that they have both exposed gaping holes in various politicians security which they have been able to correct.

Unknowingly, both Porter and Mow have engaged in free "penetration testing" for defense forces tasked with protecting politicians, saving many politicians from possible danger. Some governments have reportedly reached out to both parties to work as consultants, testing their defenses. This is why people are speculating that Mow is able to afford all of his luxury trips to picturesque island nations. "I can't imagine how awful it would've been if Porter had a firearm instead of a selfie stick," Said Dick Johnson, a US Secret Service agent.

So far in the first month of 2024, Porter is beating Mow with 6 selfies with politicians posted to Twitter, while Mow only has 2. Mow's posts garnered a lot more traction as he promised two countries nobody knew existed prior to his post would be going on a Bitcoin standard. Each professional selfie taker has their own flair when it comes to post engagement. Porter tends to like to take credit for things he did not do, as well as act as a reporter. Mow likes to spin stories about how he is influencing the world's leaders to begin to adopt Bitcoin. Both are a wonderful recipe in their own rite for max social media engagement. Who will win the selfie contest of 2024 is yet to be seen, but the Vegas betting markets have Porter as the slight favorite at this time.