Santa Receives Unusually Large Amount Of Requests For Ross Ulbricht To Be Released From Prison
This year, sources from inside the North Pole have told the Bugle that Santa Claus is feeling distressed as hundreds of thousands of kids around the globe have written him to say that all they want for Christmas is for Ross Ulbricht to be free. While Santa is accustomed to receiving letters regarding political prisoners such as Ulbricht, Julian Assange, and Edward Snowden, the number of letters this year is unprecedented. Our inside source within Santa's workshop have told us that many children are opting out of presents all together in favor of requests for Ulbricht to be released.
Because of the lack of requests for toys, many of Santa's elves are struggling to find out what to do with their time. "The hard reality is that kids want Ross free more than they want toys for Christmas, and the only way he will be freed is by Presidential pardon, or the fall of the US federal government. Joe Biden is highly unlikely to pardon Ross, so the only option left for us is to begin subverting the US government which is incredibly risky," Cinnamon Spritz, an elf working in Santa's shop, told the Bugle. The North Pole has typically tried to stay out of world politics and has taken the strategy of staying neutral by trying to spread joy on the holidays. The harsh reality is that even in 2023, you cannot hide from the dark nature of American politics in the North Pole.
Ulbricht was unjustly given essentially a death sentence where he will possibly die in prison for partaking in running the website called the Silk Road. The website had a major part in accelerating Bitcoin adoption and was a true bastion for free market economics. This was a major threat to the perceived legitimacy of the US government as it allowed individuals to route around their incredibly unjust laws and regulations. Ultimately the website lowered the risk of individuals getting thrown in cages for voluntarily transacting, and therefore could not be allowed.
Santa has been faced with being unable to ignore some pretty massive injustices happening around the world at the hands of government. What his decision will be in regards to how to respond to it is unknown at this time, and he may not be able to be public about his response for his own protection. One thing is clear which is that like the hundreds of thousands of kids who have wrote Santa asking for Ross to be freed, us writers at the Bugle want nothing more than for that to be a reality this Christmas.
If you would like to do more than write letters to Santa, please visit the site below.
