Super Bowl Betting Down As Betting On Geriatrics Deaths Skyrocketing

In no way is the Bugle seeking to promote or condone activities like this as that is dangerous and generally a bad idea. Coercion is supposed to be a one way street with politicians threatening civilians, not civilians threatening politicians.

A new and troubling betting market is quickly emerging, as it appears that Jim Bell's dream of assassination markets is quickly becoming a reality, causing volume in Super Bowl betting markets to tank. This year, instead of people gambling on sportsball and whether Taylor Swift's boyfriend will win the highly commercialized event, individuals are turning to the dark web to bet on when different geriatric politicians death will be. The list of individuals being bet on consists of liars, bankers, thieves, war criminals, and individuals who have been named to visit Jefferey Epstein's island.

The idea of the market is to allow normal individuals to correct politician's poor behavior by being able to fund incentives for an individual to carry out a violent act against said politician. The way it works is that people bet on dates and times the event will happen allowing there to be a payout to gamblers who guessed the correct moment. This incentivizes individuals to make bets and then go carry out the act themselves. Theoretically, for fear for their safety, many politicians would likely resign once they saw a sizable market being formed trying to predict their demise.

Many politicians have made loud calls for the markets to get shut down, and for gamblers interacting with them to be prosecuted. Users of the markets are arguing that the betting markets in no way are linked to assassination politics, and they are just gambling on the elderly politicians natural death days. "These markets are just the natural response to a quickly aging political class. We don't like them which is what makes this whole thing funny. Like seriously, how much more gas do you think Biden has in the tank," One anonymous user said.

The lack of interest in the Super Bowl appears to be representative of a larger phenomenon of happening around the world of people rejecting bread and circuses, instead choosing to come to grips with the reality facing them. Individuals are tired of being psyopped by Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift. "I just wanted to watch the sportsball but would turn off the TV any time Kansas City was playing, because all they would talk about was Taylor Swift. I already had to put up with pharma ads ruining my bread and circuses, but Taylor Swift is a step too far," One sportsball fan told the Bugle.

Whether Jim Bell's dreams are truly coming true are yet to be seen as the markets have not yet caught on in the mainstream. The likelihood of them catching on is minimal as it is incredibly illegal to participate in any activities, and triggered geriatric politicians are dangerous.