Users Banned for Discussing Wood Chippers On All Social Media Platforms

The mods on all social media platforms have been dropping the ban hammer indiscriminately on anyone discussing wood chippers on their platforms after videos of people talking about throwing politicians in wood chippers went viral on Tik Tok. Many wood chipper manufacturers accounts became casualties of the coordinated censorship, and have been unable to get their accounts reinstated. One polarizing Twitter account for an ammunition manufacturing company called Fenix Ammunition was banned after they announced they would selling wood chippers.

Many commentators are saying this is the worst case of social media censorship since the "Learn to code" debacle. Elon Musk's Twitter account was temporarily banned after he tweeted a meme of Disney CEO Bob Iger, going feet first into a wood chipper. Despite owning Twitter, Musk was not immune from the ban hammer. There is much debate happening because Musk did in fact break the community standards of the platform he owns.

Many are calling for the systemic banning of hardware stores off social media for their advertisements including major retailers like Harbor Freight, Home Depot, and Lowes. The calls for censorship are the strongest against any industry, even beyond the firearms industry. As of right now, there have been no announcements of banks or payment processors removing support for hardware suppliers, but it would not be surprising if this became the case at some point.

The politicization of a necessary tool for landscapers around the country has created some major turmoil. There are reports that wealthy liberals are firing their landscaping companies for using wood chippers, and many landscapers are a loss of what they should do. Jose Menendez, a successful landscaper in Los Angelos told the Bugle, "I don't really understand what they expect us to do. How do we make wood chips without a wood chipper? Do they expect us to break down these trees by hand because of some stupid political meme on Twitter?"

There will likely be many more civilian casualties as the culture war continues to escalate. Liz Cheney announced that she would be running as a third party candidate with the sole purpose of making sure Donald Trump doesn't win, as well as to ban the usage of wood chippers in the United States. "I will make sure no politician except for Donald Trump gets thrown into the wood chipper," Cheney said in a press conference. The city of Washington DC has already banned the use and it is now a felony to be in possession of one.