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Las Vegas, NV – Elizabeth Warren emanated a massive bolus of hot air, causing flight delays for Bugle Journalists Ginger ₿ Stiffin and Margeret Morris, in a shocking display of meteorological petulance in retaliation for their award-winning coverage in The Fiat Fiasco: How Warren’s War on Bitcoin Made Us All Smarter
WASHINGTON, D.C. — While valiantly fending off the latest legislative witchery from Senator Elizabeth “Smoke Signals” Warren—who, in her twilight crusade against crypto, has taken to tilting at stablecoins like a drunk Don Quixote with a gender studies degree—Wyoming’s Senator Cynthia Lummis found herself dodging another, smaller,
In the rowdy digital dives of Bitcoin Core, where code cowboys and crypto-grifters slug it out over the blockchain’s soul, a fresh storm has churned up a dust cloud denser than a miner’s unwashed socks. The tired squabble over spam, filters, and what qualifies as a real Bitcoin
In the social justice sideshow, where every term is a sledgehammer, a farcical fight has flared over naming neighborhoods starved of grocers. “Food deserts,” once progressive gospel, is now too meek for the outrage overlords. Enter “food apartheid,” a phrase so histrionic it could star in a tragedy. But hold
In the annals of modern absurdity, where fashion and finance collide with the subtlety of a sledgehammer, a new trend has emerged to torment the sartorially challenged: the 5-inch inseam short. As trumpeted by the X denizen @cheracuse in a post that has since spread like digital wildfire, men are
While Bitcoin (and the broad shitcoin—I mean Crypto—ecosystem) wasn't discussed in last night's Vice Presidential Debate, clearly Bitcoin will fix all the issues. In a spectacle that could only be described as democracy's finest reality TV, Republican Vice Presidential candidate JD Vance
October 1, 2024 – Newark, NJ In a display of solidarity that no one asked for and even fewer understand, Harrold Daggett, the bombastic head honcho of the International Longshoremen’s Association (ILA), launched a massive strike today, proudly declaring, “We also stand in solidarity with the International Candlemakers Union.” If
September 24, 2024 - New York, N.Y. — Caroline Ellison, who many believe is secretly Senator Mitch McConnell’s granddaughter, today was sentenced to two years for her role in the staggering implosion of FTX, a company whose business model appeared to be a complex mixture of cryptocurrency speculation and
PARIS, August 24, 2024 — In a stunning bid to rekindle the halcyon days of Vichy France, President Emmanuel Macron has set his sights on bringing back what he calls "the golden era of governance." The first step in this illustrious campaign? The arrest of Pavel Durov, the CEO
In a stunning revelation that has set the crypto world ablaze, it has been scientifically proven that gun owners are more well-endowed than their non-packing counterparts. And as fate would have it, the Bitcoin community—already notorious for their libertarian leanings and aversion to traditional finance—is overwhelmingly comprised of
In an audacious move that has financial markets buzzing with laughter, Kerrisdale Capital has declared a bold short position against Riot Platforms, a bitcoin mining company that they believe is as reliable as a chocolate teapot. Armed with a report dripping with pessimism, Kerrisdale is banking on Riot's
Washington, D.C.—In an unexpected twist that left both crypto enthusiasts and bipartisan legislators scratching their heads, President Joseph R. Biden Jr. has vetoed H.J. Res. 109 on May 31, 2024, effectively maintaining the contentious Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) Staff Accounting Bulletin 121 (SAB-121) in place. With