Convicted Murderer Released From Prison After Identifying As Innocent

San Francisco is a special place. The city government has long been one of the most progressive in the world. They were the very first city in the world to legalize shop lifting, and now they are moving towards allowing convicted criminals to determine their legal status based on what they identify as. The very first inmate has been released from the local city jail as he was awaiting sentencing for a murder he committed on camera.

Gerald Sylvester, a 25 year old man, was caught on camera stabbing a 79 year old woman in front of a bank as she was pulling money out of an ATM. He has been awaiting sentencing after being convicted in February of 2022 for the crime, but has now been released after his lawyer told the court that he identified as innocent. "Gerald Sylvester has put a lot of time and thought into his current legal status. It is not the slightest bit easy for him to make this decision, but I am here to attest that he is now transitioning from being guilty to being innocent," his layer told the court during an appeal hearing.

Judge Francis Garfield was quick to rule that Sylvester be released, pending a meeting with a psychiatrist to determine the inmate was not faking the transition to get out of prison. A local psychiatrist, who chose to remain anonymous, confirmed that Sylvester truly identified as innocent and that he was to be released. He wrote a letter to the court saying, "I am convinced that Gerald Sylvester has truly transitioned to being innocent. His transition should be embraced, and celebrated. For far too long, individuals who have identified as innocent have been genocided by the legal system. I applaud the court for taking a progressive approach on how they view legal identification and taking steps to be affirming."

The decision appears to have unintended consequences as many biological men, identifying as women, have showed up at the courthouse to explain that they identify as guilty. While some individuals have concerns about individuals being able to identify as guilty or innocent, activists have managed to silence critics by yelling at them for their bigotry.

San Francisco's mayor, London Breed, held a press conference to address the matter. "We must celebrate people and the way they identify. We must encourage individuals to express themselves, and as a city, move past hate. The protester who threw a brick at me has also changed identities to being innocent and will also be released from jail." Shortly after finishing her sentence, her security team rushed her back inside as the crowd jeered and hurled projectiles at her.

It is rumored that Donald Trump's legal team may use this case as a defense in their upcoming legal battle with the Department of Justice