Standing Desks Mandatory: MicroStrategy Announces Liquidation of All Company Chairs to Buy Bitcoin
Langley, VA – MicroStrategy announced a new company wide policy, in a memo today, making standing desks mandatory for all employees as the company moves to liquidate all company assets related to seating. Proceeds from the furniture liquidation will be used to purchase more Bitcoin for the company's treasury.
Sources within the company told The Bugle that Michael Saylor, the company's outspoken leader, was growing concerned about Bitcoin ETF in-flows and believes BlackRock is on pace to purchase and ultimately hodl more Bitcoin than MicroStrategy by 2025. To prevent this from happening Saylor has ordered more than 10,000 office chairs, benches, and stools be liquidated as soon as possible to buy more Bitcoin.
The idea originates from a tongue-in-cheek comment by Pierre Rochard back in 2021 and one in which he spread on Twitter as well as podcasts, that Bitcoiners should find ways to make more money to buy Bitcoin while the can, including selling all their chairs. This quickly became a meme which has endured over the years, apparently leaving an impression on Saylor.
It is unclear who the customer would be for 10,000 used office chairs, benches, and stools. Some economists are concerned that this could add to a growing list of strains on the commercial real estate industry which is already nearing panic mode as office buildings as well as the office furniture inside, sit unused losing value.
WeWork has been mentioned as a potential buyer of Microstrategy's chairs as former CEO and founder Adam Neumann has been making headlines about buying the company back and reviving it. In other news, the WeWork guy being remembered forever as the guy who bought Michael Saylor's old junk so he could buy more Bitcoin right before a halving, would be hilarious.
