Tensions Spill Over After Son-in-Law Wears ‘Swan’ Hat to Thanksgiving Dinner

Tensions Spill Over After Son-in-Law Wears ‘Swan’ Hat to Thanksgiving Dinner

Tallahassee, FL – Celebration descended into disaster at the Grisham household this year when what began as a typical Thanksgiving dinner erupted into anger and arguing when a son-in-law showed up wearing a Swan Bitcoin branded trucker hat.

While the majority of the guests, most of whom were not aware of Swan or deeply familiar with Bitcoin in general, demonstrated polite curiosity about the hat, it wasn't long before a cousin from Atlanta, who is active on social media, expressed hostility. "You know Swan uses a custodian owned by fucking Ripple right? XRP?! You're advertising for shitcoiners." he asked after his second glass of merlot. "You can buy Bitcoin peer-to-peer on decentralized services. You don't need a fucking KYC service that censors you for using coinjoins and mixers you fucking Swan simp" he added

Guests reported that the confrontation quickly led to grandma bursting out in tears. "I didn't even get to take two bites of my turkey before they started arguing" one cousin reported. "It was very reminiscent of Thanksgiving a few years ago when Aunt Tracey's first husband showed up in a MAGA hat. We are a conservative family but Trump is very controversial on Dad's side of the family" he added. One uncle, who doesn't own Bitcoin directly but claimed to have some GBTC in his IRA tried to calm the irate cousin and encourage pragmatism. "Jesus Christ, is this family full of fiat Uncle Toms? Go suck off Jamie Dimon, while you're at it. I'll continue defunding the state" the cousin replied.

The son-in-law finally agreed to remove the hat after the some convincing from his wife. "As I have gotten older my hairline has started receding a bit so I like to wear hats to conceal it. I got the hat for free at a Bitcoin conference and I thought it was kind of cool and it usually gives me an excuse to talk about Bitcoin with people. I didn't want to cause trouble." He explained.

The dinner conversation eventually segued into a debate about Israel's military actions in the Gaza strip. After more wine the youngest cousin, a freshman at the University of Texas, accused Israel of genocide which resulted in her father excusing himself from the table to let his anger subside in the backyard. "It was contentious when she started calling the Israeli military baby killers but thankfully it didn't get as heated as the debate about that Swan hat", Aunt Tracey said.