The Top Eight Ways To Avoid The Military Draft

The Top Eight Ways To Avoid The Military Draft
Photo by Diego González / Unsplash

The state of the world has everyone a little wound up right now as all the politicians seem hell bent on starting World War 3. After two world wars have devastated that planet, you would think that humanity would be smart enough to avoid a third one, but at this time it is unsure if that is the case. Fortunately you are an individual who has an IQ of at least 81 and is seeing the writing on the wall. Here is the best way to prepare yourself to avoid a military draft.

  1. Listen to What Bitcoin Did

Listening to what Bitcoin did will lower your testosterone levels so much much that you will be ineligible for the draft. Your bones will become brittle and fragile, making you unfit for combat. Once you are ruled out of the draft, you can start listening to more masculine Bitcoin podcasts like RHR in order to regain your bone composition.

  1. Take anxiety and depression medication.

The majority of people already do this, which will makes it really difficult for the US Military to find eligible people for combat. That being said, depending on how bad it gets, it may also help with your anxiety and or depression. If this technique fails and you do get drafted, at least you'll have a way to numb your emotions and cope.

  1. Move to Canada

This is a risky move, but if you do not want to be drafted, moving to Canada is an option. You may end up in a communist gulag, but that may be better than getting sent to the front lines to die for some politician. They will likely serve pancakes with wonderful maple syrup for breakfast in Justin Trudeau's soon to come camps.

  1. Take the Covid Vaccine

In taking the safe and effective vaccine, you will have a high chance of contracting myocarditis which will make you ineligible for the draft. If you have already have had this experience, you are in great luck because you won't need to worry about it going forward. If you don't get myocarditis the fist time, try try again until you get there. This is a safe and effective way to avoid the draft.

  1. Rob a Bank

Fortunately you will be ineligible to serve in the draft if you are incarcerated. A good solid 5 years will likely allow you to miss the whole war, and after you get out, the value of your Bitcoin stack will be enormous. You don't necessarily have to rob a bank but a good prison sentence between 3-5 years will probably get the job done. If things go really south, there is the potential of inmates getting conscripted.

  1. Buy Bitcoin

Bitcoin defunds the war machine, so if you buy enough, they will be completely defunded. Not only buy Bitcoin, but post about it on twitter and Nostr as much as you possibly can to encourage others to buy it as well. The Stackchain will stop the war and prevent the draft from even coming.

  1. Reject Stablecoins

Despite what Alex Gladstein says, stablecoins are bad. Dollarizing a lot of the world will definitely not stop a war, and supporting fiat currencies in any form definitely encourages wars. Not only that, it makes you super beta as you inherently will have to transact on Tron or Ethereum to use them. Being a fan of stablecoins makes you a shitcoiner and shitcoiners get drafted.

  1. Make Memes so Dank No One Is Willing To Fight

This is probably the best way to avoid the draft. Memes have the potential to completely paralyze the war and propaganda machine. The New York Times, Fox News, and other extremely reputable war propagandist organizations need to be ridiculed so hard that all the journalists die of alcohol poisoning from drinking so much to numb their guilty consciouses.


The world is descending into war and you have the ability to turn on, tune in, and drop out. It is a time to be creative and subversive. There is a potential to make memes so dank that a war could be stopped and to shift humanity towards a better and more peaceful future. Fiat will be defeated, but so will the silly concept of political authority. Make sure to consume plenty of cigarettes between now and victory in order keep your spirit high, and focus.

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