Why America Needs To Beat Canada To $100k Bitcoin

Richard Greaser

Richard Greaser

ā€” 2 min read
Why America Needs To Beat Canada To $100k Bitcoin

Canada is full of a bunch of losers who hate truck drivers. There's only a couple of cool ones there, but one of the cool ones is a hoser with a blonde streak through his hair. Canada is governed by a communist loser, and hasn't had a team win the Stanley Cup since forever. It is just not right that Canadians should get a $100k Bitcoin before Americans do.

How Money Works

The people buying Bitcoin in a country determine the Bitcoin price in that country depending on how much they buy. The more they buy, the higher the price goes. That's why Bitcoin in Venezuela has been over 1 trillion pesos for quite some time. Venezuelan Bitcoiners are some of the richest in the world. Canada's currency, the Canadian peso, is trading at $50k against Bitcoin currently while the US dollar is trading $37k against Bitcoin. Americans have been failing to pull their weight and are allowing the Canadian Bitcoiners to get richer than us.

What's at Stake

If Canadian Bitcoiners get richer than the Americans, it could end in a reality where the Canadian NHL teams begin dominating the American teams. We could see a massive decline in US based Bitcoin conferences, in favor for the land of Maple Syrup. We could even see the rise of Canadian cigarette companies, exporting their inferior tobacco to the United States.

One of the biggest tragedies would be losing a dick measuring contest with individuals who reside within the borders or a territory still ruled by the Brittish royalty. Americans body slammed the royals in 1776 and have shown them up as a superior country ever after. To lose such an important benchmark to an inferior country would be similar letting the Soviets fake a moon landing before us. The Soviets probably didn't even know it was fake until their collapse.

All you need to get your shit together, order a bunch of beef from Texas Slim, get your testosterone levels up, smoke at least 2 packs of Marlboros a day, and start earning money faster than the Fed can inflate it away to stack your nuts off in order to beat these loser Canadians to $100k. Also we should consider deporting @SatoshiDeniz to Canada so he can keep the price suppressed at $58k.

We will win because we will refuse to bring shame on our founding fathers. We will win because of the soldiers who stormed Normandy, so we could defy the IRS and Federal reserve by buying non KYC Bitcoin. We will win because we are better than Canada and no matter how terrible Joe Biden is, Trudeau is worse.

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