Reports of Gorilla Glue Shortages as Protesters Glue Themselves to Social Media to Protest Inscriptions

Reports of Gorilla Glue Shortages as Protesters Glue Themselves to Social Media to Protest Inscriptions

Traditional transaction activists from Just Stop Ordinals are at it again. In response to high transaction fees and a bloated mempool protestors have glued themselves to their X timelines in protest of what they believe to be the culprit: Oridnals Inscriptions. As a consequence, hardware stores around the country are reporting shortages in Gorilla Glue and other industrial strength glue products.

"Folks in this community are upset. Their wives are on their ass about home improvement projects which aren't getting done because they can't find glue", ACE Hardware Assistant Manager Eric Jarvis told the Bugle.

Irate Bitcoin Maximalists and traditional transaction activists don't seem concerned. "If you don't like the fact that there is a glue shortage, raise the price of glue! That's how capitalism works" said one Just Stop Ordinals protestor. "We aren't done buying until Ordinals are a thing of the past. If someone has the money to pay for a good or service, who are you to judge?" he added, seemingly unaware of the irony.

Many Bitcoin observers predicted the problem would be short lived when inscription spam caused a spike in transaction fees earlier this year. The rational behind the prediction was the cost of inscribing JPEGs on the timechain, a feature enabled by Bitcoin's Taproot upgrade two years ago, was high but the intrinsic value of the transactions was quite literally 1/100,000,000 of the cost at a 1 BTC per Ordinal trade. However, inscriptions have only grown in popularity the initial spike in activity. Speculators and money launderers have exploited the trend to their benefit, and to the benefit of Bitcoin miners struggling to remain solvent amidst soaring hash rates.

The consequences of the glue shortage are hard to measure but some analysts believe it could have a serious impact on the economy. "If I can't glue the front bumper back onto my Honda Accord, it won't pass the state safety inspection. If I can't pass the inspection, I can't drive to work. I might lose my job. How will I buy my kid's Christmas presents?" Asked shortage victim Clyde Rivers.

As the Bitcoin price continues to climb, transaction fees will continue to increase in dollar terms. If this trend continues, one can only assume protestors will become more angry and more emboldened. If demand for glue remains sticky, causing prices to soar, the impact of the protests could ultimately be reflected in the next CPI report on inflation.