RFK Jr. Vows to Classify Inscription Transactions Spam Under The CAN-SPAM Act of 2003

RFK Jr. Vows to Classify Inscription Transactions Spam Under The CAN-SPAM Act of 2003

Independent U.S. Presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy Jr. promised to classify certain Bitcoin transactions as spam under the CAN-SPAM Act of 2003 Thursday. RFK was speaking to a crowd of Just Stop Ordinals protestors at a scheduled campaign stop in Nashville, TN.

During the event, many in the crowd noticed Bitcoin transaction fees were once again high while attempting to make on-chain donations solicited by RFK's campaign via a QR code displayed on the event's large screen. Many began to put their phones away before completing their donations which prompted the candidate to go off script. "Within the first week of my administration I promise to classify all inscription and NFT transactions as spam under the CAN-SPAM Act of 2003!" The crowd's eyes lit up as if they were beaming actual lasers as they began to roar in approval.

After the event The Bugle spoke with some of the guests in attendance to gauge their reaction. Some Just Stop Ordinals protestors told us while they hate the spammy transactions, they were hesitant to support a state sponsored solution. Others were less hesitant. "I consider myself pretty Libertarian but this is the biggest political and social problem of my lifetime. If we don't stop these shitcoin scammers, we are doomed." Another protestor shared a personal experience about how Ordinals is affecting his family life. "My wife and I have been wanting to start a family. But if the blockchain is going to keep being bloated then the chance to have a real hard money to protect savings is gone. I don't want to bring a child into a world that looks like that."

The Controlling the Assault of Non-Solicited Pornography And Marketing (CAN-SPAM) Act of 2003 is a law passed in 2003 establishing the United States' first national standards for the sending of commercial email. The law requires the FTC to enforce its provisions. Each separate email in violation of the CAN-SPAM Act is subject to penalties of up to $51,744. Presumably, RFK's plan would a include each individual violating Bitcoin transaction as subject to this penalty.

The Bugle contacted Washington policy expert Jean-Anders Chalmers (coincidentally also a former college roommate of Dennis Porter) to explain how this might manifest as official government policy. "Right now, the idea that consensus rules could be changed to remove the witness discount are slim to none, at least in the short to medium term. However, by adding the threat of fines of over $50,000 per violating transaction, we can effectively RAISE the witness discount for offending broadcasters." Chalmers explained.

RFK's campaign did not respond to inquiries from The Bugle before press time.