10 Biggest Announcements At Bitcoin 2023

10 Biggest Announcements At Bitcoin 2023
Photo by aurora.kreativ / Unsplash

Every year, the Bitcoin conference is ground zero for major Bitcoin company announcements. From Jack Maller's 2022 announcement that he would "Die on this hill," to Impervious' claim to soon having a working product, you will never be let down as all the Bitcoin Companies will try to out do each other.

  1. Samourai's anti hotel room surveillance Pen launched shortly after Aubrey Strobel's news broke about cameras in her Airbnb

The Samourai Wallet team is looking to expand their product showcase into physical privacy products as onchain transactions continue to rise, and their current product suite becomes less attractive to use. This groundbreaking device is perfect for Bitcoiners to be able to thwart FBI spying attempts in private areas such as hotel rooms and Air BNB's.

2. Fold to increase spin rewards to 1 Satoshi per spin

Fold App: Get Bitcoin As "Cash Back" for Shopping at Airbnb, Amazon ...

Fold has received criticism as they have consistently been lowering rewards for card users. That trend seems to be over as they announced at the conference that they will be reversing the trend by raising the minimum reward from 0 sats to 1 sat per spin. Users were concerned that current trends were going to lead to rewards being negative.

3. Micro BT to release carbon negative miner

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Micro BT announced the release of the M50S++ which has a filter on the exhaust in order to make the miner carbon negative. The miner will essentially operate as an air filter. Pierre Rochard applauded the decision, while climate activists heads exploded. Rumors circulated also that Mirco BT is working on launching a battery powered miner that will be extremely carbon negative.

4. Bitcoin Core Memes moves headquarters to El Salvador, receives $800 grant

Bitcoin Core Memes is the Meme arm of Bitcoin core. They are the unsung heroes of Bitcoin as they work behind the scenes to distribute memes to help grow adoption. They announced that they will be moving their headquarters to El Salvador and that El Salvador will be giving them a $800 grant to cover their yearly Adobe liscense.

5. Women in Bitcoin Conference hires Greg Foss as spokesman

Greg Foss and Craig Shipp have teamed up to run the Women in Bitcoin conference which is a conference geared towards women in the Bitcoin space. They plan to rival Bitcoin Magazine in conference size and attract women to the space. "Nobody likes the Bitcoin Magazine Wizards circle jerk anyways," Foss said.

6. Thank God For Bitcoiners classifies Ordinals as sinful, and bans content from conference

Thank God for Bitcoin w/ Jimmy Song & Julia Tourianski - YouTube

Bitcoin is the redemption of money, but Ordinals are an offense to the redemption of money. All content has been deemed sinful and is banned from the Thank God for Bitcoin conference.

7. Casa announces closed source wallet on closed source stage

Casa Bitcoin - Overview Wealth Security Protocol

Casa's bit announcement was a bit underwhelming, as they had already announced with full details of what the announcement would be, that they would be having an announcement. Yes they are releasing a closed source Bitcoin wallet and they announced this on the closed source stage.  

8. Ledger to hire former Bud Light Marketing boss to help rehabilitate image after announcing Ledger Recover

Trans Activist Dylan Mulvaney Defends Tampax, Says It's 'Pure ...

Ledger announced that they would be hiring Bud Light Vice President of Marketing, Alissa Heinerscheid, who was responsible for the Dylan Mulavaey marketing campaign. Ledger talked about their plans of doubling down on poor brand management as being an industry standard.

9. Swan Bitcoin announces the "Swan House" will be where all your friends they buy hang out

Bitcoin is for Everyone: Swan Bitcoin Campaign Showcases the Global ...

Swan continues to buy all your friends to bring them to exclusive parties at mansions with celebrities so you feel left out at future conferences. "We won't buy you but they will buy all your friends," Klippsten said.

10. Voltage signs contract with state of California to provide inmates with slippers

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Inmate trying on Voltage sandals in California's San Quentin State Prison

State representatives from the California State prison system were in attendance at the conference last week and were admiring the Voltage slides. They inquired on Voltages costs and felt like it would be a good partnership for Voltage to procure the sandals for them. Yes, California inmates will be wearing Voltage branded sandals in prison.

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Tokenized Conference Tickets: A P2P Electronic and Financialized Ticketing System

Tokenized Conference Tickets: A P2P Electronic and Financialized Ticketing System

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By Richard Greaser