On the beat. Smoking Marlboro Reds and cranking out the best news articles you ever read. Left the media industry in disgust. Building out Greaser's Gulch.
Twitter user, @empty_banks has revealed with a simple price chart that the makers of the space saga, Dune and Dune 2 are secretly controlling the Bitcoin price behind the scenes. While the many people would have expected to hear that Blockstream, Aliens, or the Feds actually control Bitcoin price,
Fake News
Craig Wright has sued the FBI, stating that he was present as a journalist when Donald Trump lead an insurrection against the foundation of our democracy. Wright's suit stated, "The fact that I have not been arrested for performing journalism like a few others have is clear
$58k gang is pivoting, following a tweet by @SatoshiDeniz saying that, "We will never go below $58k again." Deniz proposed adjusting the meme gang's dollar name for inflation to $156k Gang temporarily. This adjustment would allow the gang to be relevant for a short time before
Overall trust in journalism has skyrocketed following the launch of the Bugle in 2023, prompting a complete reversal of a downward trend in trust for media. Nielson ratings applauded the Bugle for, "Raising the bar for the whole industry," and "Bringing new and exciting ideas to an
"While Bitcoin is a technology that can circumvent the rent seekers, it is time that we orange pill the rent seekers and forgive them of their horrible crimes against humanity. Everyone including pedophiles, war criminals and thieves need Bitcoin. Toxicity is holding us back," Saylor told an audience
The popular 90's alternative rock band Creed has announced that they would be releasing an ordinals set to celebrate the start of the next Bitcoin bull market. The set will be called op_Bullrun. A spokesperson for the band told the Bugle that Bitcoiner interest in their music
The makers of Ozempic, a popular weight loss drug which is just as a safe and effective as the Covid 19 vaccine, are reportedly upset with American Communists who are threatening their marketshare for weight loss. Communism is an ideology that promotes strict controls over the means of production, leading
Bitcoin has been experiencing a short squeeze this week, causing massive pain for hedge funds that were shorting the coin. Fortunately, instead of liquidating America's favorite criminals, Coinbase and Fidelity shut down trading in order to stop the rapid price appreciation of the asset. While many macro thinkboys
Tucker Carlson announced the release of his new Bitcoin podcast titled, "What Bitcoin Does" this morning as Bitcoin ripped past $60k, making him the world's biggest Bitcoin podcaster. Carlson is an independent journalist, primarily reporting on Twitter, blowing away the ratings over mainstream media agencies such
Ukraine's top spy chief stated that the Covid 19 vaccine killed Vladimir Putin's main political rival, Alexei Navalny. The Kremlin's initial report was that he died of a blood clot, and not of foul play. Embalmers found strange clumps in his blood, similar to
Dennis Porter and Peter McCormack have banned together in order cure insomnia by releasing the most boring podcast episode ever recorded. Listeners have complained that while attempting to listen to the article they would involuntarily fall asleep due to boredom. One listener crashed his car into the side of the
Disruptive KYC Bitcoin exchange Strike has announced that they would be raising $200m in a Series D fundraising round, in order to hire memers to make watermarked gifs and memes on all the platforms. "It's the beginning of the bull market, and we need all Bitcoin related